Second draft zooooooms
and now
it has to simmer
shhhh
do not rattle and roll
tiptoe away.
Maybe when you return
to the draft
it will have developed
multiple reflective layers
and lead you
gently
on to the
next
one.
xx
You are such a good cook!!!!
ReplyDeleteBut the cook always awaits the tasting-by-others to be sure of that . . . mm?
DeleteBonjour,
ReplyDeleteLes meilleurs plats sont ceux qui mijotent ! Et ils embaument une maison ! Alors... à bientôt !
Gros bisous ♡
ah, oui, merci, merci. . . xx
DeleteSo basically, writing is sort of like preparing a turkey dinner? Lots of layers... and PIE!
ReplyDeleteHave wonderful family time this Thanksgiving.
Ah, yes, and similarly, the preparation takes eons but the 'eating' can be done so quickly. . . xx
DeleteSo, you & the draft work gently & well together...respecting one another's rhythms & needs...Love it!!!
ReplyDeleteYour poem is so soft it makes me calm. I love how you incorporate the adjectives into the poem to make it come alive. The pictures match the poem perfectly with their beautiful, simple calmness. I like how you demonstrated how passionate you are about your writing like in the sentence "developed multiple reflective layers." With all your spicy vocabulary, you showed how much you care about your writing. This poem also seemed to transport us to the beach of a small lake on a slow summer day. Oh so tranquil! We hope we will be able to see you again!
ReplyDeleteFrom: Marianne, Cooper, and Mia -- Grade 5, Fay School
Oooh, that is a beautiful commentary! Thank you. xx
DeleteWe read your poem, "Simmering," and we found a craft move that we really liked. We call it the "Onomatopoeia Move." It is when the writer wants the reader to get into the moment and hear the moment as well. In this poem, we like the craft move because it shows that it is a quiet and easy place to focus. This makes us want to write! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteAlex, Drew, and Lily - Grade 5, Fay School
Oh! An 'onomatopoeia move'! Perfecto! I hope you make your own onomatopoeia moves . . . xx
Delete